Addictions and Intentions

It's time to come clean.

I'm an addict.

Now before you begin to worry and start Googling the nearest (and hopefully highest rated) treatment centers for me, I can assure you it's not that kind of addiction.  But that doesn't make it any less detrimental to my health - physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

You see, addictions are like sin - in fact, I believe most addictions are a sin. They take our eyes off God. Although society will lead us to believe that some hold greater weight than others, a sin is a sin; and an addiction is an addiction.  In the eyes of the One that matters, not one is greater than the other. They just are. And when we know we are in the thick of it, it is time to repent.

So here I am confessing to you, my friend, that I am an addict. I am addicted to many things: my phone, social media, buying books, Netflix and ch...ocolate, and a few other things. There are so many things that take my time away from the things that are really important; or take me away from what the Lord has really set on my heart. While some of these distractions may not constitute a true addiction, since I probably could quit a few of them cold turkey, the feelings I get from said things are something my human emotions crave.

I love the feeling I get when someone likes my posts or I get a new follower. You know you get it too. It's a feeling most of us humans can relate to: Someone likes me. Someone is paying attention to me. I am worth something.  I lose sight of the fact that Jesus loves me all along the way. He doesn't need to hit the "like" button. He's way better than the like button.

 

I love the feeling when I get a yellow package stuffed in my mailbox. The careful opening of the padded envelope. (Heaven forbid I rip the cover or pages trying to get that nearly impossible thing to open open.) The firmness of the unopened book. The smell of the pages.... Oh, such beautiful thing. Before I even open the first pages, I feel like I've earned myself 100 Christian points for owning a book by a well-known and inspirational author. (Bonus points if I got it signed.) Again, it's the feeling I get when owning and reading these books. But is what I get out of these books truly what I intend to get out of them?

I have about ten books on my reading shelf right now. I've started about 5 of them. They are all Christian books, written to inspire people like me to live lives full of love, truth, grace, and forgiveness.  And I want to read all of them. Now. At the same time. I want to know how I can be the best person I can be so I can turn it around and inspire others to do the same. Now. Even before I've finished the books.

Even before I've finished them, I want to write about them. To retell part of the story. To encourage others to read. To be the best they can be. Those are my intentions.

Intentions.... That's a funny word.

I intend to read all of the books.  

I intend to inspire others.  

I intend to spend less time on the internet. 

I intend to revoke my addiction to social media. 

I intend to spend more time with my children. 

I intend to read the bible. 

I intend to get closer to God.

The question then becomes: DID I?

Did I read all those books?
Did I inspire others?
Did I spend less time online and more time in real life?
Did I read the bible?
Did I get closer to God?

If my answers are no, then my intentions really mean diddly-squat. If I intend to confess my sins, my addictions, it means absolutely nothing unless I get something done.

And that's the key: DO SOMETHING.

Don't just have intentions. Be intentional. Write it down. Schedule it. Do what ever it takes to make those intentions into actions. PRAY. We can't do this alone. Set your sights on the One who speaks to your heart.

Like I mentioned earlier, my addictions could be somewhat of a sin. You might wonder how something like reading Christian books can be a sin? After all, doesn't it make me a better Christian? Well, yes, it can. It has the potential.  But simply reading something does not make you a better anything, except maybe a better reader of words.

The intention to do good is there, but unless I put into action those words on the page, I am simply wasting the time and blessings God has given me through these talented writers. I need to DO SOMETHING with it. It's only then that it becomes less about me and more about HIM. 

My work on social media becomes worthwhile when I DO SOMETHING. When I carve out my boundaries, set my limits and use my allotted hours to bring others closer to God through building and strengthening relationships. When I use my time wisely to partner with people around the world to breathe life into those who need it most. I begin to feel less worries about the likes and followers, and satisfaction and Joy in sharing the Word. It's not up to me, for God is the one who will guide the right readers to the words I have written for Him.

When I curb my addictions, live our my intentions, I can focus my attention, my heart, on the Lord. I have time and energy to do the true things He is calling me to do. I find myself being able to do so much more. And it's not about me. It's about HIM.

And our God is a good God. He has put it on my heart to read...and take action. 

From Dirty Floors to Perfect Imperfection

Aloha friends!

This week was extremely busy - as most weeks are for me. But somehow, when "mother nature" comes to visit, it makes for some quite challenging days.  Despite the grouchies and migraines, I must say, I kept thinking of a tremendous honor I received from a friend.

You see, my friend Heather, who writes the blog, Dirty Floors | Happy Kids, nominated my blog for an award. Yep, you heard that right! An award! When I found out, part of me wanted to jump out of my chair and dance around the room. And let me tell you, I was grinning from ear to ear!

But on the inside, I began to feel the doubt starting to grow. I don't know if I'm "worthy" of this award. After all, I'm just getting started. I don't have a grasp of my target audience. I don't have a long drawn out list of blogging topics and schedules. Oftentimes I click "submit" before any deep editing.

I'm. Just. Rambling.